Blessed by Worship

I'm not a crier, but I have to be honest-worship this Sunday brought tears to my eyes.  Not because of conviction (though maybe I needed that, too), but because of companionship.

Frankly, "worship music" isn't really my thing.  I don't like loud music and crowded concert spaces.  I have a lot of it on my computer, but I rarely listen to it.  No fault to the musicians, but that's just not how I like to connect with God.

That aside, I love, love LOVE worship at my church.  We play a lot of the same "popular" songs, and even though we have some GREAT musicians, let's face it, the sound isn't the most amazing you'll ever hear (it's ok I can say this, I'm part of the band, too!).  I think the difference is the relationship.  I know all of you.  I've seen you walk through hard stuff and still come out strong.  I know that when you sing "My life is yours" that you mean it, and I can say amen with you.

At Hosanna I was completely overwhelmed with how much I love being in a community that is "One in heart and mind."  I'm so blessed by the strength and sincerity of those who lead worship at King of Love.  I wish I had a recording to take with me.  I would listen it (even a crappy one) every day in Cairo.  I know the passion in your voices is lived out in your lives and it encourages me more than I can say.

Thank you!

Time. Life. Cairo.

Two weeks will mark a year since the saddest, hardest day of my life.

Since the passing of my uncle, one thing that has changed in me is my perspective on life.  Some people say "Life is short, live every day as if it were your last."  Life isn't what's short, though.  Life, true life, is eternal, forever.  Time is what is short.  Time for choice.  In Life there will be no time and no choice only eternity.  Now we have time and choice.  Now we can choose God or the world.  Those who do not choose God will never have Life, only Death.  That is why time is so important.  Even though I have chosen God, there are still times when I choose the world in a small way.  When I make selfish choices and neglect love.  Every time I choose the world, I invest in something that will die.  Every time I choose God (in a small way) I invest in something that will grown and last forever.  Something I can lay at His feet for His glory.  I only have a little time, and then I will have true Life.

That's why, even though my world is different without Uncle Chuck, I don't despair, because the time I have without him is short.  The Life I will share with him is forever.

That's why I'm not afraid to go wherever God sends me, because the time I have to endure suffering and sacrifice is short.  The Life that I have be before the Lord is forever.  I want to come before Him with full hands, to many crowns at His feet.  I want to help others make the choice while they still have time, so that in the end, they can have Life.

Rants about "rights"

I'm probably going to get a lot of flack for this, but I really don't care.

I read an article on CNN this morning about people's views on a law to be voted on today in Mississippi.  The law essentially says that an embryo is considered "human life" therefore putting an end to abortions and embryonic research, including in-vitro fertilization (because it involves creating multiple embryos, but only implanting one).  They interviewed a Christian family that is upset because their only child was conceived through in-vitro and they would like to continue to grow their family in the same process.  The father is quoted as saying he wants the same rights to have a family as anyone else.

Excuse me?

I was unaware that anyone was given a right, from God or government, to procreate.  I'm pretty sure that infertility is a condition that people have struggled through since most of the history of the world, yet nowhere have I ever heard anyone complain that a "right" has been taken from them.  If you are so desperate to have a child, may I suggest adopting?  For all the embryos you will commit to ice, there is a child who would willingly call your home his.  I bet it would cost less, too.

I understand the pain of not being able to conceive must be insurmountable, but to complain about rights when human life is at stake?  Grrr....

If you want to see the article, here it is.

Snapshots

Life is always changing, one thing rolling to the next, little by little taking you someplace new.  Sometimes all I can do is think about the next "big" thing, and I forget what I love so much about now.  So here's to now, and the things I won't always have.

I love Ypsilanti - really.
I love living close to Ann Arbor.
I love my tiny apartment.
I love being surrounded by so many people who love me.
I love having such an accessible mission field.
I love living minutes away from Noelle.  I really take that for granted.
I love that I can see the seasons changing.
I love being able to wear shorts in the summer, and that I can tan in less than shorts in my backyard.
I love being 1.5 hours away from [most] of my family.
I love not having a lot of money-it's so much easier to appreciate things.
I love playing scrabble with my husband.
I love not having children [one day I know I will love having children, but right now I'm happy I don't].
I love living down the road from Trader Joe's.
I love jogging in the morning with Eliot through Frog Island Park.
I love my old car-it reminds me of God's faithfulness.
I love my IV peeps-so much.
I love that my neighbors are from all over the place.
I love the slow pace of life right now.
I love that all of this will change...and I love that I am in God's steady hands.

Watchman Nee and death

I've recently been reading a few books by Watchman Nee, a Chinese evangelist and leader of the indigenous church in China.  They are deeply revelatory yet profoundly simple and digestible.  I've been meaning to write about what I've been reading for a while, but after every chapter I'm so moved I don't know if I can put it into words.  

Nee writes a lot about death, dying to yourself and dying in Christ.  While I understand the implications and applications, I'm not quite sure if I follow his entire line of thinking, but I love what he says about new life in Christ.  I'm literally reading and re-reading chapters because they're so beautiful.

In the book I'm currently reading The Normal Christian Life, Nee talks about the process of being crucified with Christ, and then being resurrected with Him, both of which we accept by faith.  "In resurrection he is the source of my life-indeed he is my life; so I cannot but present everything to him, for all is his, not mine.  But without passing through death I have nothing to consecrate, nor is there anything God can accept, for he has condemned all that is of the old creation to the Cross."  As a sinner, as a person, I have nothing to give to God.  Everything I would offer Him is already tainted and thus He cannot accept it.  How beautiful that, through the life that He gives me, I can give Him my life in obedience.

Nee goes on to say "God will always break what is offered to him.  He breaks what he takes, but after breaking it blesses and uses it to meet the needs of others."  Sometimes when I think of giving my life to God, I think of what I will be able to do for Him, but when we truly give something, we don't have control over the gift.  The recipient can do whatever he wants.  I could give a crystal vase to someone thinking it will be so beautiful in their home, and they might give it to their child to play with, and ultimately break.  What is it to me?  I gave the gift and can have no say over what becomes of it.

So it is with our lives.  When we really give our lives to God, He has the right to ask whatever He will of us, even if it seems painful, unnecessary or even a waste.  What should it be to us?  My life is not my own.  My life, in Christ is given back to Him.  It is the only option.  Anything I take away from Him will become worthless, shamefully wasting the blood He shed for me.

Spaghetti Squash Serenade

I recently became the recipient of several large squashes of different variety.  Some of them I knew exactly what to do with, but I had never, ever eaten, much less cooked, a spaghetti squash.  Would you know it, that very same day Martha Stewart scripted several lovely recipes, one of which was the one I will share here, Roasted Shrimp with Spaghetti Squash

I was a little hesitant because I had never cooked shrimp before, either, but it was amaaazing!  My husband came home and could not get over how delicious it was.  To me, it literally felt like eating pasta and shrimp.  The basic recipe follows.  I did saute tomatoes, onion, garlic and zucchini on the side. which really enhanced the flavor and added to the "spaghetti" effect.

Enjoy!

• 1 medium spaghetti squash (about 3 pounds), halved lengthwise
• Coarse salt and ground pepper
• 1 pound large shrimp, peeled and deveined
• 1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon extra-virgin olive oil
• 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice, plus lemon wedges for serving
• 2 tablespoons fresh parsley, roughly chopped

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Season squash with salt and pepper. Place cut side down in a 9-by-13-inch baking dish. Add 3/4 cup water and roast until tender when pierced with a knife, about 45 minutes (mine took close to an hour to cook, and it was still quite al dente). Let cool.
2. Meanwhile, on a rimmed baking sheet, toss shrimp with 1 teaspoon oil; season with salt and pepper. Roast until cooked through, 8 to 10 minutes.
3. Scoop out seeds from squash and discard. With a fork, scrape flesh into a large bowl. Add shrimp and any cooking juices, lemon juice, and 1 tablespoon oil; toss to combine. Season with salt and pepper, top with parsley, and serve with lemon wedges.             

Short Stories

I am in LOVE with the short story.  Good authors {Kurt Vonnegut and F. Scott Fitzgerald to name a few) can  cram so much brilliance and wit, yet deep meaning and purpose, into just a few pages.  I do not claim to be witty or brilliant, but I was inspired to try a short story myself (best read on a rainy day).  My hope is only that it makes you smile.  Let me know if it did!

The Chinese Don't Take Discover

   "Well, what now?" he asked, looking out the window.  She, in turn, gazed at him expectantly.  "I'm not made of brilliant ideas, you know," he turned towards her, "we're in this together.  Any opinion you have is just as valid as mine."
   She let a sigh escape her, from somewhere deep within.  It walked out of her slowly like an old woman climbing down stairs.  Black silk rustled as she shivered.  "Well, I know you didn't mean for this to happen," she finally posed, almost as a question.  Rain began pecking at the windshield.
   "What do you mean?  You think I planned it this way?  Unbelievable!"
   "No, darling," she put her hand on his arm.  "It's just...a series of consequences I guess."  She gazed past him into the darkness.
  "A series of consequences?  Ha.  That's exactly what I hoped this night wouldn't be."
   "You can't control everything, you know..."
   "Not everything!  When have I ever asked for everything?  Just this one thing...that's all I asked for.  One thing and it's too much."
   "Well, I don't see any more options," she said slowly, trying to calm the tension.
   "Are you suggesting we call it quits?"
   Her eyes looked violent as she gazed into her lap, smoothing her dress over her knees.  "All this for nothing" she whispered.   Then, looking up, "You're giving up?"
  "Well, I can't do this on my own, can I?  I'm sorry.  I tried.  Believe me, I thought I had things figured out.  I wanted to make you happy...us happy."
  "Do you think we're trying to be something we're not?"
   "You tell me."
   "I mean, we would never have done this before, we were perfectly happy."
   "But you said you were bored," he quipped.
   "I know what I said.  I just didn't expect you to go all gallant on me and try to fix everything."
   "Well...did you think I would let you be unhappy."
   "I...I don't know what I thought."
   Silence.  He lay his forehead on the steering wheel.  The rain now fell in thick drops.  Suddenly she laughed.      "It's...it's just those darn Chinese!" she let out between gasps.  "You know what, just because we can't eat at the best restaurant in town doesn't mean we can't have ourselves a grand night out.  Let's just go to King's Diner, like we always do.  A burger actually sounds really good."
   "The diner?  But I really wanted to give you the time of your life....and I know this is your favorite place to eat...anyway, look at what we're wearing."
   "Who cares!  We'll be the best-dressed couple that ever set foot into King's, I bet!"
  He kissed her and laughed.  "All right," he said.  "All this because the Chinese don't take Discover."