Rants about "rights"

I'm probably going to get a lot of flack for this, but I really don't care.

I read an article on CNN this morning about people's views on a law to be voted on today in Mississippi.  The law essentially says that an embryo is considered "human life" therefore putting an end to abortions and embryonic research, including in-vitro fertilization (because it involves creating multiple embryos, but only implanting one).  They interviewed a Christian family that is upset because their only child was conceived through in-vitro and they would like to continue to grow their family in the same process.  The father is quoted as saying he wants the same rights to have a family as anyone else.

Excuse me?

I was unaware that anyone was given a right, from God or government, to procreate.  I'm pretty sure that infertility is a condition that people have struggled through since most of the history of the world, yet nowhere have I ever heard anyone complain that a "right" has been taken from them.  If you are so desperate to have a child, may I suggest adopting?  For all the embryos you will commit to ice, there is a child who would willingly call your home his.  I bet it would cost less, too.

I understand the pain of not being able to conceive must be insurmountable, but to complain about rights when human life is at stake?  Grrr....

If you want to see the article, here it is.

Snapshots

Life is always changing, one thing rolling to the next, little by little taking you someplace new.  Sometimes all I can do is think about the next "big" thing, and I forget what I love so much about now.  So here's to now, and the things I won't always have.

I love Ypsilanti - really.
I love living close to Ann Arbor.
I love my tiny apartment.
I love being surrounded by so many people who love me.
I love having such an accessible mission field.
I love living minutes away from Noelle.  I really take that for granted.
I love that I can see the seasons changing.
I love being able to wear shorts in the summer, and that I can tan in less than shorts in my backyard.
I love being 1.5 hours away from [most] of my family.
I love not having a lot of money-it's so much easier to appreciate things.
I love playing scrabble with my husband.
I love not having children [one day I know I will love having children, but right now I'm happy I don't].
I love living down the road from Trader Joe's.
I love jogging in the morning with Eliot through Frog Island Park.
I love my old car-it reminds me of God's faithfulness.
I love my IV peeps-so much.
I love that my neighbors are from all over the place.
I love the slow pace of life right now.
I love that all of this will change...and I love that I am in God's steady hands.

Watchman Nee and death

I've recently been reading a few books by Watchman Nee, a Chinese evangelist and leader of the indigenous church in China.  They are deeply revelatory yet profoundly simple and digestible.  I've been meaning to write about what I've been reading for a while, but after every chapter I'm so moved I don't know if I can put it into words.  

Nee writes a lot about death, dying to yourself and dying in Christ.  While I understand the implications and applications, I'm not quite sure if I follow his entire line of thinking, but I love what he says about new life in Christ.  I'm literally reading and re-reading chapters because they're so beautiful.

In the book I'm currently reading The Normal Christian Life, Nee talks about the process of being crucified with Christ, and then being resurrected with Him, both of which we accept by faith.  "In resurrection he is the source of my life-indeed he is my life; so I cannot but present everything to him, for all is his, not mine.  But without passing through death I have nothing to consecrate, nor is there anything God can accept, for he has condemned all that is of the old creation to the Cross."  As a sinner, as a person, I have nothing to give to God.  Everything I would offer Him is already tainted and thus He cannot accept it.  How beautiful that, through the life that He gives me, I can give Him my life in obedience.

Nee goes on to say "God will always break what is offered to him.  He breaks what he takes, but after breaking it blesses and uses it to meet the needs of others."  Sometimes when I think of giving my life to God, I think of what I will be able to do for Him, but when we truly give something, we don't have control over the gift.  The recipient can do whatever he wants.  I could give a crystal vase to someone thinking it will be so beautiful in their home, and they might give it to their child to play with, and ultimately break.  What is it to me?  I gave the gift and can have no say over what becomes of it.

So it is with our lives.  When we really give our lives to God, He has the right to ask whatever He will of us, even if it seems painful, unnecessary or even a waste.  What should it be to us?  My life is not my own.  My life, in Christ is given back to Him.  It is the only option.  Anything I take away from Him will become worthless, shamefully wasting the blood He shed for me.

Spaghetti Squash Serenade

I recently became the recipient of several large squashes of different variety.  Some of them I knew exactly what to do with, but I had never, ever eaten, much less cooked, a spaghetti squash.  Would you know it, that very same day Martha Stewart scripted several lovely recipes, one of which was the one I will share here, Roasted Shrimp with Spaghetti Squash

I was a little hesitant because I had never cooked shrimp before, either, but it was amaaazing!  My husband came home and could not get over how delicious it was.  To me, it literally felt like eating pasta and shrimp.  The basic recipe follows.  I did saute tomatoes, onion, garlic and zucchini on the side. which really enhanced the flavor and added to the "spaghetti" effect.

Enjoy!

• 1 medium spaghetti squash (about 3 pounds), halved lengthwise
• Coarse salt and ground pepper
• 1 pound large shrimp, peeled and deveined
• 1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon extra-virgin olive oil
• 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice, plus lemon wedges for serving
• 2 tablespoons fresh parsley, roughly chopped

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Season squash with salt and pepper. Place cut side down in a 9-by-13-inch baking dish. Add 3/4 cup water and roast until tender when pierced with a knife, about 45 minutes (mine took close to an hour to cook, and it was still quite al dente). Let cool.
2. Meanwhile, on a rimmed baking sheet, toss shrimp with 1 teaspoon oil; season with salt and pepper. Roast until cooked through, 8 to 10 minutes.
3. Scoop out seeds from squash and discard. With a fork, scrape flesh into a large bowl. Add shrimp and any cooking juices, lemon juice, and 1 tablespoon oil; toss to combine. Season with salt and pepper, top with parsley, and serve with lemon wedges.             

Short Stories

I am in LOVE with the short story.  Good authors {Kurt Vonnegut and F. Scott Fitzgerald to name a few) can  cram so much brilliance and wit, yet deep meaning and purpose, into just a few pages.  I do not claim to be witty or brilliant, but I was inspired to try a short story myself (best read on a rainy day).  My hope is only that it makes you smile.  Let me know if it did!

The Chinese Don't Take Discover

   "Well, what now?" he asked, looking out the window.  She, in turn, gazed at him expectantly.  "I'm not made of brilliant ideas, you know," he turned towards her, "we're in this together.  Any opinion you have is just as valid as mine."
   She let a sigh escape her, from somewhere deep within.  It walked out of her slowly like an old woman climbing down stairs.  Black silk rustled as she shivered.  "Well, I know you didn't mean for this to happen," she finally posed, almost as a question.  Rain began pecking at the windshield.
   "What do you mean?  You think I planned it this way?  Unbelievable!"
   "No, darling," she put her hand on his arm.  "It's just...a series of consequences I guess."  She gazed past him into the darkness.
  "A series of consequences?  Ha.  That's exactly what I hoped this night wouldn't be."
   "You can't control everything, you know..."
   "Not everything!  When have I ever asked for everything?  Just this one thing...that's all I asked for.  One thing and it's too much."
   "Well, I don't see any more options," she said slowly, trying to calm the tension.
   "Are you suggesting we call it quits?"
   Her eyes looked violent as she gazed into her lap, smoothing her dress over her knees.  "All this for nothing" she whispered.   Then, looking up, "You're giving up?"
  "Well, I can't do this on my own, can I?  I'm sorry.  I tried.  Believe me, I thought I had things figured out.  I wanted to make you happy...us happy."
  "Do you think we're trying to be something we're not?"
   "You tell me."
   "I mean, we would never have done this before, we were perfectly happy."
   "But you said you were bored," he quipped.
   "I know what I said.  I just didn't expect you to go all gallant on me and try to fix everything."
   "Well...did you think I would let you be unhappy."
   "I...I don't know what I thought."
   Silence.  He lay his forehead on the steering wheel.  The rain now fell in thick drops.  Suddenly she laughed.      "It's...it's just those darn Chinese!" she let out between gasps.  "You know what, just because we can't eat at the best restaurant in town doesn't mean we can't have ourselves a grand night out.  Let's just go to King's Diner, like we always do.  A burger actually sounds really good."
   "The diner?  But I really wanted to give you the time of your life....and I know this is your favorite place to eat...anyway, look at what we're wearing."
   "Who cares!  We'll be the best-dressed couple that ever set foot into King's, I bet!"
  He kissed her and laughed.  "All right," he said.  "All this because the Chinese don't take Discover."

Ich bin zufrieden

Here I am again...waiting.  Living on a missionary's income isn't easy.  I was so looking forward to graduating and getting back from the honeymoon because I could finally get a job.  A real, 40hrs a week + benefits job.  Ha.  I guess I shouldn't be too hard on myself, I've only really been actively looking for 2 weeks.  Still.  It would be so nice to have the security and freedom to be able to splurge once in a while, heck, to even be able to buy the bare necessities without wondering if I'll bounce a check.

Wait; that's the fleshy side of me talking.

We've paid all the bills, have a fridge full of food, and have even been able to give a little bit away.  I think I remember my Father promised to take care of me, and in this moment I am not lacking anything that I need.  Today I decided to stop working so hard to make something that I want happen.  If God is giving me time to rest and invest in other things without earning an income, He'll take care of everything else.  I don't want to try digging my own path, I'll just get stuck.  Anyway, I really love seeing God take care of me when there doesn't seem to be a way.  Would I pass up another opportunity?  Nah.

He says "My grace is sufficient for you."
I say, "I am satisfied."

Motherhood

Motherhood, undoubtedly is one of the highest callings and most cherished, beautiful positions in life.

But-have you ever thought how strange that is?

Let me clarify.  The general tendency of human beings is to work to provide for our basic needs (food, clothing, shelter).  If we have obtained these, we work to make life better or easier.  Many people can more than amply pay for their basic needs with their 9-5 jobs, but they work so they can enjoy life; travel, eat good food, provide entertainment, etc.  For some it might even go beyond themselves and they work sleepless nights to find a cure for cancer or solve the current economic problem, whatever, all to make life easier and better.

Consider motherhood.  Mothers give away all rights to themselves, from the shape of their body to their precious hours of sleep; nothing is sacred.  They work endless days not to make life easier; a mother's day is never over, even when her child is out of the home, her thoughts always are for him.  Her heart and her hands will never rest until she has done all she can for her child.  Motherhood has no rest, no vacation, sacrifice with little gain.

Oh, but love!  Love is the driver and motivator.  Love is the power which so overwhelms mothers that they will give everything for the one they bore.  Yes, I will not argue with this, but there is something else which drives these women.  Something that most people recognize, but which, to me, is so mysterious and wonderful.

Maybe it's instinct; everyone has seen little girls play with baby dolls, no one is the more popular lady in the room than she who has a baby.  Many girls dream of being mothers, as some dream of being famous or getting married, we plan and talk about baby names before we're even married (no I know I'm being stereotypical, just roll with me).  But the instinct of motherhood is stronger than anything else I've seen.

The other day one of my students (she' 35) was in tears reading a story about a baby because she cannot have anymore children (she has one beautiful daughter).  We were n't talking deeply about it, but just thinking about a baby woke in her that strong desire that can never again be fulfilled.  Tears.  Sobs.  Nothing was taken from her, she didn't loose anything, but she knows there is something she can never gain.  Sobs over not being able to give her body and life over again for someone else.  For a creature that never existed.

I also know many women who are desperate to get married.  Why?  Not because they want a husband to love and cherish them, because they want children.  Because they want to lay themselves on the altar, to nurture and care for a little one they've created.

Think about adoption.  In many cases it costs many thousands of dollars to adopt a child, people spend their life savings.  I haven't done research, but I would bet, for couples who do this, the great motivator was the wife and her yearning for children to care for.

I'm not at all ridiculing these actions, it's beautiful!  It's a wonderful and beautiful power that drives so many women to need to pour out their love for something they've created.  Even more than this, however, it reminds me of God.  If we were created in His image, surely these beautiful "instincts" must be a reflection of Him.  Just as many say a man's desire to pursue and provide reflect God's love for us, so must a woman's to love and nurture, too kiss and hold, to wait patiently and forgive endlessly, to love eternally without gain (or, with the greatest gain, for what greater gain can a mother have than to receive the love of her children.  Even so, He says "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you.  Now remain in my love."

Reflections (in case you were wondering).

I can hardly believe I've been married a whole month.  In the grand scheme of things, it isn't very long, but after all the planning and waiting and dreaming...it's hard to believe I am where I am.

As I reflect back on August 6th, I am still overwhelmed by all the love and miracles.  In case you're curious about the bride's perspective of the day-here it is!

I awoke on my wedding day to grey skies that soon turned to sprinkling rain.  I expected it to be a morning of chaotic preparing, but since we couldn't do much setting up, it was surprisingly clam and tranquil.  I remained calm most of the day, slowly doing everything I could to get ready (which wasn't much since the wedding was in my backyard!).  Still the rain came.  At noon Abi arrived to do my hair, and soon after came the photographer and a few other people, just like we had scheduled.  Everything happened right on cue.  It was surreal seeing hours of planning and scheduling unfold before my eyes!

Still the rain came.  Vikki (a dear friend and wedding coordinator) kept coming upstairs to make sure I was eating and to tell me that according to ALL the predictions the rain was supposed to stop by six (but in case it doesn't, can we do photos inside?).  I knew that, whatever happened, I would be getting married that day.  Still, a little part of me died thinking about not getting married in front of all my dear friends and family.  I may have come close to crying once or twice-but still incredibly calm.  (I later heard that the groom's men were wondering if I was in a panic because of all the rain.  Surprisingly, no.)  I and the other girls were upstairs chatting, getting ready.  It was really nice to spend so much time with some friends I don't see very often!

People did as much as they could inside-I kept trying to eaves drop to see what was going on (I wasn't allowed downstairs).  I don't remember what time it was that I heard "We have tents!"  My dad would later call it the "Voice of God" that called on his cell while he was at the barber that morning.  A good friend, Jeff Braatz, said he had two 40x20 tents and did we want them?

I think I did cry watching from the window as about 10 guys out in the pouring rain move 200 chairs, set up two enormous tents, and move the chairs back.  I felt so loved!

Vikki's predictions were right.  It stopped raining about 5:30.  When she came to tell me it was time to go downstairs I asked if people were here.  She gave me a look that said I should see for myself.  I looked out the window and all the chairs were full!  I couldn't believe so many people came, despite the treacherous rain!  A light mist settled over the yard and I happily waltzed down the isle to my beloved.

The rest of the night is really a blur of hugs, photos and dancing, but I remember how I felt one huge embrace, not just from the people there, but from the Father himself.  I felt like my wedding day was a promise that he will always take care of me - perfectly (and He does!).